Hello all and thank you again for joining me here!
My past few posts have been all about starting your yoga practice and how to integrate certain aspects into your daily routine. This one I am veering from that path because I am going through a very different phase of my own journey. When I first started blogging, I thought it would strictly be about yoga tips, tricks, and other info. I never imagined that my life would take such a drastic turn in such a short amount of time.
To vaguely give you guys an idea of what is happening, I am completely shifting my energy and efforts back onto myself and making life changes to support that (if you follow me on Instagram you will have seen hints of this). I am not ready to share the details of what I am going through right now, it’s too fresh, too raw, too painful to fully disclose to those who are to closest to me. All I ask is that you understand and support me in the best way that you see fit. And I thank you all for whatever way that manifests.
Two days ago, on Friday, September 6, 2019, I began my yoga teacher training. Holy. Freaking. Cow. Words cannot express how much I have been wanting to take this step for so long, and it feels so damn good that I have taken the first step towards something that I have been DREAMING of for years. I have spent countless hours researching different programs: month long intensive foreign programs, two and a half year community college programs, online programs, intensive local programs, if it’s out there you bet I did my research on it. I finally settled on this program, not only because it was financially feasible, but also because when I walked into the studio I was overtaken by this amazing, vibrant, accepting, loving energy.
We have all been to those yoga studios where you walk in and feel judged, like the odd man out, or that you aren’t enough of a “yogi” to fit it. Not at all with this place. That energy and the amazing people that made me so welcomed were what sold me.
Fast forward to day one. My palms were sweaty, my mind was racing, and I was pacing back and forth for an hour before I had to leave. I had been dreaming of this moment for so long and it was finally here!!!
So of course I got there far too early and had to wait in my car to not look like a total freak. Thirty minutes before class started I walked in the front door looking like a pack mule with my mat, bolster, all my books, a few journals, plus a giant water bottle. Turns out I wouldn’t need about half that crap… surprise surprise.
I was among the first five there, but I wouldn’t have it any other way. Walking into the room I felt an immediate sense of relief because everyone seemed just as unsure as I did, so I settled into my spot in the far corner of the room. Not many people were talking, just scouting out the others in the room trying to figure out what to expect.
Then our instructors walked in. Everyone stopped.
Then they started speaking, some relief speak throughout the room.
Then we introduced ourselves, why we were there, and what we wanted to get out of the program.
There was laughter. There were tears. There were smiles. There was vulnerability.
There were all of our walls crumbling before each and every one of us.
And then we began.
Diving straight in, we started to explore the difference between perception, sensation, distractions, and awareness. If I had a clear understanding I would share with you all, but believe me when I say that I am still struggling to grasp the concept. The metaphor that was used is going to watch a movie in a theater, more specifically a thriller. If ya’ll know me you know I don’t mess with those kinds of movies! BUT, when we are in the theater watching the screen we experience all of these crazy emotions, sitting on the edge of our seats anxious for the thing that is going to jump out and scare us… we seem to forget that we are simply sitting in a room. If one of the conditions is altered, the lights turned up or the volume turned down, we become so much more aware that we are just watching the screen.
This is us as we go through life. We become so caught up in the distractions, the thought, the sensations, the things that are happening around us that we forget that we are just as we are and we need to calm the fuck down and just be present. Because in all reality none of that matters. What matters is simply being. Right here. Right now.
In focusing on the present we gain much more insight into what we can do to make each moment matter. Yoga is a way tbat we can reprogram our brains to regain that focus. Our instructor said that each yoga pose puts us in a box, and in that box we are forced to find stillness and in that physical stillness we can work to still the mind. Especially in the poses that force us to discomfort, practice focusing the mind on only one thing: breath. Through this, everything else will melt away. Then there is just you, your body, and the air moving in and out.
With this key concept in mind, we moved through some very basic asanas, alignment, and key points to remember in the poses. My favorite part of the practice of the asanas was not the poses themselves, but the emerging personalities in the room. Some timid, some outgoing, some craving knowledge, some seeking attention, some challenging, but all beautiful. This wonderful array of people all brought together for such vastly different reasons all have one thing in common: we love yoga. And through that love we are all seeking to be better, be stronger, and expand our minds further than we thought possible.
As my teacher training continues, I am so excited to get to know these wonderful souls that I am sharing this experience with, to explore aspects of yoga I have failed to explore before, and to push my mind, body, and soul far outside of its comfort zone. And I will be sharing my experience each step of the way.
Thank you all for sharing your time with me, if you have insight to share or questions please make sure to let me know!
Blessings,
Kelsey Ann